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Remember that time I said that this wouldn’t turn into just a pregnancy blog and then I went ahead and used all of my wit and funny and creative insight into life for my freelancing gigs and then left this poor guy just flailing in the wind, only touched when I wanted to document my pregnancy? Yeah. Me too. Oh well. Thems the breaks.

Guess what, guys. I’m 30 weeks. 7.5 months, fool. That means I’m almost done — or so they tell me. Frankly, I don’t believe anything I hear about pregnancy. Although, I suppose they’re right in saying that she HAS to come out at some point.

30 weeks pregnantWeek: 30 – Baby is as long as a cucumber

Food cravings and aversions: I’m having an issue with chicken again. I was over it for awhile, but it’s back in action. Other than my run with Friendly’s in the beginning, I haven’t had a strong craving for anything — up until a few days ago. I would have sold this baby to the first person to bring me hot, buttered rolls. But these were very specific rolls I was looking for — the kind from Ponderosa. Which was sort of an inconvenient craving, considering there isn’t a Ponderosa remotely close to us. My husband tried to help by stopping at the grocery store and coming home with two different types of rolls that he hoped would cure my fever. It didn’t, but they were close enough.

Baby items purchased/received: Our house now runneth-over with baby items. I still need to post about the shower at some point. This week in particular, we started hanging up her clothes and organizing her closet, so lots of baskets and bins were purchased.

buddy-the-elf-meme-generator-santa-oh-my-god-santa-here-i-know-him-i-know-him-38970dFavorite moment: I’m not sure it’s scientifically possible yet, but I think this little lady is already a daddy’s girl. She’s in a pretty good groove of when she’s active (10 – 11, 2 – 4, 7:30 and then again around 10 at night). But if Jason is around during one of her “off hours”, she starts kicking up a storm. I assume that she gets very excited to hear a voice that’s not mine. Whenever she does that, I pretend she’s Buddy the Elf – “I KNOW him!”

Another favorite moment was on Sunday, when we really started to put away all of her prizes from the shower. She has her own little closet with her own little wardrobe. Weird!

Thoughts: I believe they call it “nesting”. Our house is a mess. Always a mess. Even if it’s clean. I’ve been throwing away and giving away stuff like it’s my job. We just have too many things — all the things need to go. I’m also actively concerned about labor and delivery. Anyone who would like to add their two cents of “It’ll all be ok. It’s not as bad as you think.” can just keep those two cents for their next rainy day shopping trip, because I don’t want them. I have a human being who sleeps and grows inside of me and pretty soon, she has to come out of me. Nothing will cure my anxiety on this one. I’m just hoping that it sort of gets pushed to the back of my mind while I thrust myself head first wobble into the holiday season.

week 30 2Everyone gives their pets a voice and a personality, correct? Correct. Well, Bumble thinks that the baby is named Bumblina. He also thinks that he’s pregnant, just like me, and his baby is named Bumblina 2. What can I say? He’s lucky he’s handsome.

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cinderella birds

Here’s my weekly pregnancy post, which you can find at http://herdaily.com/parenting/

 
Today, I’m six months pregnant. I have something the size of an ear of corn living inside of me. That is a very big size of something to be living inside of you. We had a check-up yesterday and got to see our little lady, who always plays shy for the camera. I love her. And I’m really ready for her to be out here and not in there.

I’m almost done with my second trimester and I’ve never reached the promise lands.

For those of you unfamiliar with the different phases of pregnancy, there is an urban legend out there that the second trimester of pregnancy is a glorious place, full of unicorns and no morning sickness (and an increased appetite for, um, “attention’ from your spouse). During the second trimester, you are rich with energy and spend your days giving off the most heavenly glow of pregnancy. You have a perfect bump and your feet aren’t swollen. Your pre-pregnancy jeans fit with the help of a belly band and your t-shirts are snug, but look precious covering up that stomach of yours. Everything is glorious, perfect. You are woman, creating life. Things couldn’t possibly be better.

I’ve labeled that rumor as an urban legend because I have yet to experience it. I doubt I will.

I will even go a step further and admit something that I haven’t heard many say — being pregnant sort of sucks.

Now, before you go ahead and rip me a new one as you lecture me on what a precious gift I am about to receive — trust me. I get it. And I started this post saying I already love little Lady S., correct? I’d puke every day for nine months (which I may end up doing anyways) if it meant bringing our happy, healthy daughter into this world.

But that’s where I want her — here.

I haven’t yet had a glorious day of pregnancy. I had a wicked first trimester. I woke up the morning of my second trimester with the hopes that things worked like a Disney movie. Perhaps a little blue bird was going to come to my window and sing away all my pregnancy troubles.

No such luck.

I’m tired. I’m so damn tired. And I know — I’ll be tired after I have the baby, too. But here’s the thing — at least there is a reason to justify that tired. You’re caring for an infant. You’re chasing a toddler around all day. Right now, I spend much of my time sitting at a desk. But I leave work every day craving a three hour nap.

And food? We’re frenemies nowadays. I spend nearly all of my waking hours despising it — the smells, the textures. Everything turns me off. Then, around 9:00 every night, I want to eat everything. Except nothing ever sounds good. Do you even understand that frustration?! (But if you’re my husband, don’t answer that. It may frustrate you more than it frustrates me.)

I wake up 3 – 5 times a night to pee.

I’ve gained weight and my pre-pregnancy pants have been relegated to a bottom drawer because they no longer fit my pudgey (NOT bump-tastic) stomach. But maternity pants? They don’t fit yet either! I feel like Goldilocks, except nothing ever fits just right.

I’m grouchy. I’m moody. I cry over everything.

They say the best things in life are worth waiting for, right? Gosh, that’s a lot of pressure to put on an infant.

(She better not let me down.)

(Kidding.)

(Not really kidding.)

Photo: Disney.wikia.com


My latest pregnancy post on HerDaily.com, in case you missed it —

pregnant woman crying

We were simply sitting on the couch, watching TV. The Husband turned to me, smiled and said “I love you.”

Tearing up, I told him I loved him too.

He started to laugh. “Are you going to cry? Why are you crying?”

“I don’t know. Because I’m happy. I don’t know. I’m having a rough week.”

“Buddy, you’re having a rough pregnancy,” he said as he gave me a hug.

He was right. I knew that my hormones would be all over the place while pregnant. And I’m a pretty emotional person to begin with. But I just never made the connection; never assumed that I’d be one of those pregnant ladies, crying several times a day. Crying ateverything.

I’ve cried because I told the dog he smelled but then felt sad that I hurt his feelings.

I’ve cried while watching a woman deliver her surrogate baby (which was really hers) on a soap opera.

I’ve cried because the sheets didn’t fit our bed the right way.

I’ve cried because I wanted to eat a red apple and all we had were green apples.

I’ve cried because I was happy to see my husband come home after a long day at work.

I’ve cried because raw chicken now makes me throw up and so I felt guilty that I couldn’t cook dinner.

I’ve cried because, while at a festival, a woman told me that fresh lemonade was $4 — which was the exact amount of cash I had on me. But then I found out that it was really $5, so no lemonade for me.

cry baby tissues

I’ve cried because I wanted to have Pizza Hut breadsticks and salad bar for dinner, but ours was closed. To settle me down, The Husband drove to another Pizza Hut — but that one was closed, too. (Plan = backfired.)

I’ve cried as I was unpacking groceries because I realized that the mini-muffins I just bought had an expiration date of two weeks and I thought that the grocery store was trying to pull a fast one on me.

There are times when I suddenly feel a surge of emotion — either sorrow or elation, and begin to cry. Nothing has prompted these moments. They simply are. And that’s hard to explain to my husband, who is very proactive. If I’m crying because I want a red apple and we only have green, he’ll offer to go out and buy me a red apple. He’ll drive to all of the Pizza Huts in a fifty mile radius. But when there’s nothing to fix, he feels a bit lost. Luckily, we’ve both realized that all I need is a long hug and the tears will soon pass.

I hope that same tactic can be used on our daughter.


I’ve been very busy blogging over at http://www.HerDaily.com . Because of that, I’ve neglected my own blog and my tens of readers. You can follow me there by visiting the site daily or by liking Her Daily on Facebook.

You can find my pregnancy week 19 update here. In it, I talk about my lack of a baby bump and how it’s consuming my life. (Spoiler alert — a week later and I’m looking a little more bumpish, although not much.)

Today, I posted a week 20 update here. We found out the gender yesterday!

20 weeks pregnant fruitWeek: 20 – Baby is the size of a banana, although I hope that’s not a very accurate description.

What baby is up to this week: Your baby weighs about 10 1/2 ounces now. It’s also about 6 1/2 inches long from head to bottom and about 10 inches from head to heel — about the size of a banana. (For the first 20 weeks, when a baby’s legs are curled up against his torso and hard to measure, measurements are taken from the top of his head to his bottom — the “crown to rump” measurement. After 20 weeks, he’s measured from head to toe.)

He’s swallowing more these days, which is good practice for his digestive system. He’s also producing meconium, a black, sticky by-product of digestion. This gooey substance will accumulate in his bowels, and you’ll see it in his first soiled diaper (some babies pass meconium in the womb or during delivery). So, pretty much our baby is preoccupied with poop this week. Ah, it’s father’s child.

Food cravings and aversions: I haven’t really had too many cravings. When I do, they vary by the minute. There was a hot second where I was dying for some good old, Utica, NY tomato pie, but that quickly subsided. Today, the only thing that sounds edible to me is popcorn.

Baby items purchased/received: It was my birthday last week, and my family showered me with lots o’ maternity clothes. Apparently, everyone is expecting me to grow a bump. That will happen, right? My brother and his girlfriend bought me Chicken Soup for the New Mother’s Soul. The Husband has limited my reading time on that one, because, as you can imagine — all.the.feelings. Baby S.’s Aunt Allee and Uncle Ryan picked up a monster t-shirt. I also went shopping with Grandma S. and Aunt Sara — needless to say, we left the store with a few bags. Lots of onesies, some jammies, some bibs, the bedding and a hamper. We went back a few days later with Grandpa S. and The Baby Daddy to order the crib and a dresser. Guys, this is a real, live baby now and it needs a place to sleep! Also, a place for all of the clothes it is quickly accumulating.

Heather and CarolineFavorite moment: Actually, my favorite moment was attending Miss Caroline’s first birthday party. It was amazing to see how much she has grown. She’s her own little person now! And pretty soon, we’ll have our own little person speed crawling around our house. The Husband and I slept over. I especially loved watching the Moore family’s routine the next morning. That sounds creepy, but its not, ’cause they love me and, also, we brought their baby lots of presents so they were obligated to be hospitable. In my mind, having a baby means that your house is in a constant state of chaos. They showed me that wasn’t so. C woke up as happy as can be, which means that it’s impossible for anyone else in the house to be grouchy because, hello gorgeous giggling baby! We had some coffee and just hung out while C played with a few of her new toys. It was very calm and a great way to start our day. I can’t wait to have Sunday mornings like that in my own household!

Thoughts: Relief that we have a crib and a dresser to put in our Little Monsters themed nursery. Yes, monster themed. No, not like Predator or Freddy Krueger. Yes, like those precious little Halloween monsters you find at Target. Jason thought of this awhile ago and we both quickly decided that it was a fun, unique, gender-neutral nursery theme. And now we’re only 4 months away from a little baby living in there!


PINKY promise this won’t turn into a “mommy blog”. Buuuuut, every week most weeks , I’ll be doing these updates. If they bore you, feel free to go ahead and wait for the next post. But you probably shouldn’t skip these, because we all know how funny I am and, also, Discovery Channel is live in my body RIGHT NOW! Don’t you care about science?!

week 16 pregnancy sizeWeek: 16 – Baby is the size of an avocado

What baby is up to this week: Get ready for a growth spurt. In the next few weeks, your baby will double his weight and add inches to his length. Right now, he’s about the size of an avocado: 4 1/2 inches long (head to rump) and 3 1/2 ounces. His legs are much more developed, his head is more erect than it has been, and his eyes have moved closer to the front of his head. His ears are close to their final position, too. The patterning of his scalp has begun, though his locks aren’t recognizable yet. He’s even started growing toenails. And there’s a lot happening inside as well. For example, his heart is now pumping about 25 quarts of blood each day, and this amount will continue to increase as your baby continues to develop.

Food cravings and aversions: I still wouldn’t turn down a Friendly’s quesadilla, although I haven’t had one since last time. As previously mentioned, I’m into donuts, although I’m trying not to be. No real food aversions anymore. Well, I still can’t look at raw chicken, but once my lovely husband cooks it for me, I can eat it.

Baby items purchased/received: Not much this week. A couple pairs of feety jammies, which are incredibly precious. And Aunt Linda bought Baby S. a bedtime book about mama and baby animals, which is so cute and thoughtful.

Favorite moment: Man, the last couple of weeks have been pretty lame, I guess. I’d say that it was feeling some flutters, but I’m still not positive I did. It may have been gas. But I think it was the baby. But also, possibly gas. I will keep you updated on both the movements of our tiny human and my flatulence.

Thoughts: That this baby is going to be born and will come home and live at our house and omg our house isn’t ready for a baby! We’re working on putting together a calendar of projects we want to complete, including: cleaning up the basement, hanging cupboards up in our spare bedroom for our linens (they’re currently in the dresser that will be the baby’s), a pseudo-bathroom remodel upstairs (which includes a paint job, adding a new vanity and fixing up the tub) and possibly painting the baby’s bedroom based on the gender (We should find out the beginning of September. The room is currently a lilac so if we find out we have a little lady moving into our house, the room may stay that color.)

(I didn’t do a 15 week (a navel orange) update because not much has been going on around these parts. My little, teeny tiny bump has pretty much stayed the same since week 14. I’d like to believe that at this point in the pregnancy, status quo is a good thing, but what do I know?)


I PINKY promise this won’t turn into a “mommy blog”. Buuuuut, every week, I’ll be doing these updates. If they bore you, feel free to go ahead and wait for the next post. But you probably shouldn’t skip these, because we all know how funny I am and, also, Discovery Channel is live in my body RIGHT NOW! Don’t you care about science?!

baby week 14 lemonWeek: 14 – Baby is the size of a lemon

What baby is up to this week: Your baby can now squint, frown, grimace, and possibly suck his thumb! Thanks to brain impulses, his facial muscles are getting a workout as his tiny features form one expression after another. He can grasp, too, and if you’re having an ultrasound now, you may even catch him sucking his thumb.  From head to bottom, he measures 3 1/2 inches and he weighs 1 1/2 ounces. His body’s growing faster than his head, which now sits upon a more distinct neck. By the end of this week, his arms will have grown to a length that’s in proportion to the rest of his body. (His legs still have some lengthening to do.) He’s starting to develop an ultra-fine, downy covering of hair, called lanugo, all over his body. Though you can’t feel his tiny punches and kicks yet, those little hands and feet are more flexible and active.

Food cravings and aversions: I think this is the first week where I’ve SERIOUSLY had a craving. I went to Friendly’s for lunch with a girlfriend last weekend, with my mind randomly set on a chicken quesadilla and mashed potatoes with gravy. BUT FRIENDLY’S RUINED EVERYTHING. We went at 11:45 and they serve breakfast until noon on Sundays. What?! After some unsuccessful attempts at coercion, I was left to order a bagel. But I couldn’t stop thinking about my lunch that would never be. Later in the day, after listening to me talk about it for hours, Jay had me order it to-go and he went and picked it up. Awww, amirite?

A few days later, nobody felt like cooking. Where did I want to go to dinner? Friendly’s. What did I order? A chicken quesadilla and mashed potatoes with gravy. I could have had it for dinner yesterday, too. And I certainly wouldn’t mind eating it today. But our bank account and my waistline have other plans, so I’m going to try to limit our Friendly’s trips to once twice a week.

where the wild things are toys stuffed animalsBaby items purchased: Over the weekend, we went down to the city for a concert and to visit friends (and to deliver them our big news in person!) We made a run into FAO Schwartz, with hopes of buying my “niece” (my bestest’s little girl) a birthday present. We came across a clearance bin, with puppets from Where the Wild Things Are. I picked up two and made my first official purchase for our little guy/gal. (They go along with our nursery theme. Can you guess it?)

Favorite moment: Lots of favorites this week. Going to a Jay-Z & Justin Timberlake concert at Yankee Stadium, while 3 months pregnant, in 103* heat will be a memory that neither of us will forget (Sorry for crying at a concert, Jay. But it.was.so.HOT!). Telling Jason’s best friends (since childhood) that we were pregnant was awesome. And, of course, making our “official” announcement to the rest of our family and friends. It’s all still a little surreal.

Thoughts: One night this week, we were bored and looked up gender predictions based on old wives’ tales. Jason read off 8 different tales, and every single one of them pointed to the same gender. We even did science! I peed in a cup and added baking soda. Whatever. If the cup fizzed, like a shaken bottle of soda, it’s supposed to be a boy. If it doesn’t do anything, you’ve got a little girl.

Guess what, guys? Zero fizzes. This REALLY threw me for a loop, as it agreed with all other tales that we were having a girl. I have been adamant since day one that this little baby is a boy. And I am never wrong don’t like being wrong. But a little, tiny, girl?! If we find out it IS a boy, I’m writing ALL the old wives – all of them – and calling them out for the frauds that they are.

Also, I’m starting to get a little bit of a bump. Sooooo, that’s weird.

pregnancy week 14 lemon