My latest pregnancy post on HerDaily.com, in case you missed it —
We were simply sitting on the couch, watching TV. The Husband turned to me, smiled and said “I love you.”
Tearing up, I told him I loved him too.
He started to laugh. “Are you going to cry? Why are you crying?”
“I don’t know. Because I’m happy. I don’t know. I’m having a rough week.”
“Buddy, you’re having a rough pregnancy,” he said as he gave me a hug.
He was right. I knew that my hormones would be all over the place while pregnant. And I’m a pretty emotional person to begin with. But I just never made the connection; never assumed that I’d be one of those pregnant ladies, crying several times a day. Crying ateverything.
I’ve cried because I told the dog he smelled but then felt sad that I hurt his feelings.
I’ve cried while watching a woman deliver her surrogate baby (which was really hers) on a soap opera.
I’ve cried because the sheets didn’t fit our bed the right way.
I’ve cried because I wanted to eat a red apple and all we had were green apples.
I’ve cried because I was happy to see my husband come home after a long day at work.
I’ve cried because raw chicken now makes me throw up and so I felt guilty that I couldn’t cook dinner.
I’ve cried because, while at a festival, a woman told me that fresh lemonade was $4 — which was the exact amount of cash I had on me. But then I found out that it was really $5, so no lemonade for me.
I’ve cried because I wanted to have Pizza Hut breadsticks and salad bar for dinner, but ours was closed. To settle me down, The Husband drove to another Pizza Hut — but that one was closed, too. (Plan = backfired.)
I’ve cried as I was unpacking groceries because I realized that the mini-muffins I just bought had an expiration date of two weeks and I thought that the grocery store was trying to pull a fast one on me.
There are times when I suddenly feel a surge of emotion — either sorrow or elation, and begin to cry. Nothing has prompted these moments. They simply are. And that’s hard to explain to my husband, who is very proactive. If I’m crying because I want a red apple and we only have green, he’ll offer to go out and buy me a red apple. He’ll drive to all of the Pizza Huts in a fifty mile radius. But when there’s nothing to fix, he feels a bit lost. Luckily, we’ve both realized that all I need is a long hug and the tears will soon pass.
I hope that same tactic can be used on our daughter.
Did you miss the 21 week update I posted on HerDaily.com last week? If so:
Before we were even pregnant, The Husband had a very strong stance on finding out whether or not he was going to have a boy or a girl — and his stance was absolutely not. Ever. Never, ever.
I, on the other hand, am one with little patience. I had ventured into the unknown, unprepared. However, I decided that if not knowing was that important to him, then I would get on board with it. Eventually, I did.
So, naturally, approximately ten minutes after telling The Husband I was pregnant, he responded with, “Ok, so we’ll definitely find out what it is as soon as we can so that it’ll be easier to plan…”
He didn’t have to twist my arm. I was quickly on board.
We spent weeks throwing out names and debating the gender. Right away, The Husband was Team Girl. On the other hand, I was absolutely positive it was a boy. Usually, I have great intuition, so I was confident that I was correct. The problem was our name selections. We came up with our girl name the night we found out we were pregnant. I threw out a first name, he threw out a middle name and we were in love. We came up with a couple of runners-up, but our first name was pretty solid. It was a boy’s name that was giving us trouble.
Right away, we both knew we didn’t want anything trendy. No Aidens, Braydens or Caydens in this family. We wanted something strong and traditional. The problem was that idea was that no name really jumped out at us. Every other day, it seemed, one of us would look at the other and randomly announce “OK, this week “X” is my top boy name. What about you?”
While we tried hard to wittle down our list of names, we became anxious waiting to find out for sure if we even needed to bother thinking of a boy name. One evening, we Googled old wives’ pregnancy gender tales. And then proceeded to try/answer them all.
Craving sweets? It’s a girl. Salty? It’s a boy: Sweets – girl
Chinese astrology chart, taking into considertaion my age and the month baby was conceived: Girl
Clear skin? A boy. Breaking out (stealing mom’s beauty)? A girl: Girl
If dad is having weird cravings, too, then it’s a girl: Yes, he is. Girl
If you have morning sickness, it’s a girl: Horrible morning sickness. Girl
A heartbeat above 140 is a girl: Heartbeat always hovering around 160. Girl
If you’re moody, it’s a girl. If you’re happy, it’s a boy: Mood swings like you wouldn’t believe. Girl.
The baking soda test: No fizzing. Girl.
At this point, I started to waver in my faith that it was a boy. Other than my insistance, nothing pointed to boy. I started daydreaming of a precious little girl, with our perfect name. If we went into that ultrasound and found out that the baby had the same anatomy as its daddy, I planned on suing all the old wives — all of them — for misleading a consumer.
It turned out no lawsuits were necessary.
We’re having a little girl.
We’re going to have a daughter.
Turns out those old ladies knew what they’re talking about.
Guys, great news. I’m going to win the $400 million Powerball jackpot tonight, so that’s pretty lucky. I told our exciting news to Jason. Luckily, he’s just as pumped as I am. We discussed our plan for our winnings.
Me: Well, obviously we’ll have to give the baby up for adoption, because we did not plan on being BOTH Powerball winners AND parents to a newborn. We don’t really want to be tied down, do we? Someone will love her, probably.
Jay: No, no, no. We don’t have to do that. We’ll be able to afford a nanny.
Me: I’m listening.
Jay: Yeah, we’ll get a nanny …
Me: And build her small, yet refined, living quarters. She’ll have a modest studio apartment, complete with a dinette…
Jay: … we’ll get a foreigner and chain her in the basement.
Me: I feel as though, and I may be wrong here, that if we’re rich, we don’t really need to FORCE anyone to care for our child. We could just compensate them.
Jay: No, no, no. We’ll do the thing that’s like slavery, but not slavery.
Me: Indentured servitude?
Jay: Exactly that.
Me: Hmmm I feel like if we’re going to go this nanny route, we should really NOT imprison her. Also, I don’t want a foreigner caring for my child. I want a nice American gal. And she’ll come on our travels with us …
Jay: Yeah, so you can still lay on the beach and drink and stuff.
Me: Exactly. But even if we were rich, I’d still want to watch my programs at night. So, when I’m done jet-setting for the day, I can take her from the nanny and cuddle her for thirty minutes while I watch a show! You’re RIGHT! We DON’T have to sell her. That’s good.
….. an hour later, while we’re in bed, both of us on our phones …
Me: You know, even if you’re very rich, I bet that most celebrity couples do this at bedtime. Like, right now I bet Jay-Z and Bey are just in their beds, checking their phones. Also, if you’re very very rich, but you’re thirsty in the middle of the night, you still have to get your own drink.
Me: But I bet Jay-Z and Beyonce’s bed was made by virgins, in Tawain.
Jay: What does that even mean?
Me: I’m not sure. And actually, I’m not positive that I know where Taiwan is. Like, if someone were to give me three guesses and a million dollars if I guessed right, I’m not positive I could do that. That’s a bummer.
Then, Jason claimed that he knew where ALL the countries were. I promptly googled a map of the world and named off countries. Guys, he was pretty spot on in locating them. I’m married to a genius.
I’ve been very busy blogging over at http://www.HerDaily.com . Because of that, I’ve neglected my own blog and my tens of readers. You can follow me there by visiting the site daily or by liking Her Daily on Facebook.
You can find my pregnancy week 19 update here. In it, I talk about my lack of a baby bump and how it’s consuming my life. (Spoiler alert — a week later and I’m looking a little more bumpish, although not much.)
Today, I posted a week 20 update here. We found out the gender yesterday!
What baby is up to this week: Your baby weighs about 10 1/2 ounces now. It’s also about 6 1/2 inches long from head to bottom and about 10 inches from head to heel — about the size of a banana. (For the first 20 weeks, when a baby’s legs are curled up against his torso and hard to measure, measurements are taken from the top of his head to his bottom — the “crown to rump” measurement. After 20 weeks, he’s measured from head to toe.)
He’s swallowing more these days, which is good practice for his digestive system. He’s also producing meconium, a black, sticky by-product of digestion. This gooey substance will accumulate in his bowels, and you’ll see it in his first soiled diaper (some babies pass meconium in the womb or during delivery). So, pretty much our baby is preoccupied with poop this week. Ah, it’s father’s child.
Food cravings and aversions: I haven’t really had too many cravings. When I do, they vary by the minute. There was a hot second where I was dying for some good old, Utica, NY tomato pie, but that quickly subsided. Today, the only thing that sounds edible to me is popcorn.
Baby items purchased/received: It was my birthday last week, and my family showered me with lots o’ maternity clothes. Apparently, everyone is expecting me to grow a bump. That will happen, right? My brother and his girlfriend bought me Chicken Soup for the New Mother’s Soul. The Husband has limited my reading time on that one, because, as you can imagine — all.the.feelings. Baby S.’s Aunt Allee and Uncle Ryan picked up a monster t-shirt. I also went shopping with Grandma S. and Aunt Sara — needless to say, we left the store with a few bags. Lots of onesies, some jammies, some bibs, the bedding and a hamper. We went back a few days later with Grandpa S. and The Baby Daddy to order the crib and a dresser. Guys, this is a real, live baby now and it needs a place to sleep! Also, a place for all of the clothes it is quickly accumulating.
Favorite moment: Actually, my favorite moment was attending Miss Caroline’s first birthday party. It was amazing to see how much she has grown. She’s her own little person now! And pretty soon, we’ll have our own little person speed crawling around our house. The Husband and I slept over. I especially loved watching the Moore family’s routine the next morning. That sounds creepy, but its not, ’cause they love me and, also, we brought their baby lots of presents so they were obligated to be hospitable. In my mind, having a baby means that your house is in a constant state of chaos. They showed me that wasn’t so. C woke up as happy as can be, which means that it’s impossible for anyone else in the house to be grouchy because, hello gorgeous giggling baby! We had some coffee and just hung out while C played with a few of her new toys. It was very calm and a great way to start our day. I can’t wait to have Sunday mornings like that in my own household!
Thoughts: Relief that we have a crib and a dresser to put in our Little Monsters themed nursery. Yes, monster themed. No, not like Predator or Freddy Krueger. Yes, like those precious little Halloween monsters you find at Target. Jason thought of this awhile ago and we both quickly decided that it was a fun, unique, gender-neutral nursery theme. And now we’re only 4 months away from a little baby living in there!