This guy is DEFINITELY an evil sorcerer.

This guy is DEFINITELY an evil sorcerer.

I can’t be the only one who makes a wish and then follows up the wish with more details, in order to prevent an evil genie or sorcerer (who may be listening) from finding a loophole, granting my exact wish and ruining my life.

I can’t be the only one who does a house-wide spider check before bed.

I can’t be the only one who narrates mundane daily tasks through song. (Example – “I’m coooooooking dinner. It’s going to beeeee deliiiiiciouuuuussss.”)

I can’t be the only one who gets into bed then immediately gets up because I forgot to do something, and then repeats this process 3-5 more times, every night.

I can’t be the only one who doesn’t like touching lunchmeat.

I can’t be the only one who feels personally invested in the lives of fictional tv characters.

I can’t be the only one who can’t eat something if the expiration date is the day I’m thinking about eating it.

I can’t be the only one who has to physically cover the last few pages of a good book with my hands so that I don’t cheat and skim ahead.

I can’t be the only one who heads straight to the clearance racks when walking into a store.

I can’t be the only one who drops their iPhone at least once a day.

I can’t be the only one who loses their iPhone at least once a day.

I can’t be the only one who has developed both a voice and a personality for my pets. I also can’t be the only one who delivers monologues in said voice.

Itext can’t be the only one who assigns feelings to inanimate objects. (Ex – If a stray paperclip is on the floor, I assume he is sad he isn’t with the rest of his family, so I pick him up and put him back into the paperclip jar.)

I can’t be the only one who doesn’t believe in HD tv.

I can’t be the only one who hates being “trapped” (twisted up in a blanket, getting a sweatshirt stuck on your head, etc.)

I can’t be the only one who believes that popcorn tastes best if it’s 1-3 days old.

I can’t be the only one who has double-jointed elbows.

I can’t be the only one who assigns a name to an animal within moments of seeing it (be it a beaver in a lake or someone else’s dog) and continues to refer to the animal by that name, even if I find out it’s real name (Re: someone else’s dog)

I can’t be the only one who texts their husband with “Hey! Name some weird stuff I do!” and then immediately regrets that decision because their husband won’t stop texting weird stuff that you do.

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