I can’t be the only one who climbs into bed with her husband at night, snuggles up and asks questions about dinosaurs and other prehistoric animals, amirite? You guys also spend lots of pillow talk discussing which various dinosaurs would fit into various places in and around your home, right? …


Because we’ve had this conversation several times, I’m paraphrasing:

Heather: Jay, I know brontosaurs isn’t his real name, but would a brontosaurs’s head fit into our bedroom.

Jay: Yes.

Heather: But, like would it take up the entire room? If we had a window big enough for a brontosaurs to stick his head in, would it fill up the whole room? Would we be inside his mouth?

Jay: I’m not sure. Probably.

Heather: How many dinosaurs could we fit in our back yard? We DO have a double lot.

Jay: I’m not sure what you’re saying, here. Like, if we were to corral dinosaurs into our backyard? Why would we do that?

Heather: Well, because they’re friendly dinosaurs and they just need a place to stay so we’re going to keep them safe in our back yard. A stegosaurs and a triceratops. These two guys are friends and they want to stay together. Could they both fit in our backyard? Comfortably?

Jay: Yeah, probably.

Heather: Oh, that’s great! Good for them. Would a brontosaurs fit inside our house if there were no walls?

Jay: ::snore::

apatosaurus brontosaurus size

Apatosaurus is commonly called brontosaurus, but brontosaurus isn’t actually a real thing. You’re welcome.

Heather: Hey! Wake up. I’m not done yet. Do you think a brontosaurs would fit in our house? I really just want to know how big his head is. Should we Google that? Don’t you think we deserve to know whether or not his head would take up our whole bedroom or just some of it? Could you just Google that for me, please?

Jay: :::reluctantly rolls over and gets on his phone:: Ok, he was 90 feet long and 15 feet tall. If you stood up next to him, you would barely come up to his knees.

Heather: Ok, but what about his head?

Jay: It doesn’t say. I don’t know, Heather. Go to sleep.

Heather: When I was little, I used to have this toy that was a headset that talked to you and read you science stories. It was very advanced. It was like Siri, but in 1990. You used to plug cartridges into it. Do you remember that toy?

Jay: ::snore::

Heather: Hey! Wake up! Do you remember that toy? It would read you stories about outer space and animals and my best one was about dinosaurs. What’s the name of that toy? If I still had it, I would be rich with knowledge about dinosaurs and I wouldn’t have to ask you.

Jay: ::snore::

Heather: It’s rude to fall asleep when someone is both trying to increase their knowledge about dinosaurs AND reminiscing about their childhood.

Jay: ::snore::

Heather: Rude.

So, the next day I tried Googling the name of the toy, but no luck. Nobody on Facebook could remember, either. I asked my dad, who used to play with it with me, assuming he’d have no clue what I was talking about. He found it online less than five minutes after I asked. AND he thinks it’s still somewhere in their house. It’s called the Texas Instruments voyager.

90s headset taught science

Soon, I’ll know so much about dinosaurs.