An Open Letter to you (Justin Timberlake):

I hope this gets to you the right way. It’s the only way I know how to do it. You know, other than stalking or excessive amounts of tweets. And I’d rather speak directly to you.

*Makes a serious face*

So, here goes:

This year was gearing up to be an exciting one for me. I heard you were releasing a new album.

Justin Timberlake suit and tie

He’s right about one thing. Suits were made for Justin Timberlake. Dreamboat.

As a now 27 year-old woman, I spent most of my teen years cutting pictures of you out of Bop magazine and taping them to my wall. My dad yelled and told me to use that sticky, blue, poster goo stuff, but I insisted you were worth ruining the walls with tape.

Through the years, I have kept tabs on you (I must reiterate that I am not a stalker or a danger to your life. Promise.) My iTunes is full of delicious JT gems. And my husband’s man-crush on you allows me to listen to and belt out all your old jams on a frequent basis. (On a side-but-relevant note: We have deemed “Cry Me a River” to be the best “f$#& you” song of all time. The video is such a burn. The Husband and I have had several conversations, debating whether or not adult-Justin feels a little guilty about it. Having just bought a house, our entertainment budget is fairly low and we can analyze your psyche for free soooo)

I read how excited you were about your new material. That it was full of inspiration of things you grew up listening to. Your pride in the album was palpable. I. Was. Pumped.

And then – then, my dear, handsome JTimbs – then, you released “Suit & Tie”.

Seriously?

10 years of relationships and career advancements and births and deaths and, well, life? And what you give us is “Suit & Tie”?

“I can’t wait til I get you on the floor, good-lookin’. Going out so hot, just like an oven. And I’ll burn myself but just had to touch it. It’s so fly and it’s all mine.”

Seriously?

“Go on and show ‘em who you call daddy.”

Justin. ::sigh::

Maybe the responsibility for my disappointment falls squarely on my shoulders. Maybe I gave you too much credit, thought too much of you. Maybe it’s my fault for wishing that, as your fans grew older, you grew with them. I expected you to deliver a delicious, soul-searching inspired, makes me weak-in-the-knees new song.

But you really just told me something your fans already know. You look damn good all suited up.

That’s all I’m giving you for now.

I hope the rest of your album moves past the obvious. Finding out is going to be fun.

Xoxo – Heather

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