Ah, New Year’s – the fresh beginning everyone has been waiting for, resolving to spend the next 12 months eating healthier/exercising more/focusing on family/focusing on their career/insert-potential-achievement-here. I sort of think resolutions are crap, but I am not in charge of judging someone else’s beliefs (which, consequently, is one of my resolutions).
When you realize there’s something you want to change, I believe that you should start changing it. Rightthatsecond. (I may also be working on my impulsive tendencies.) You don’t need to wait until Monday or the 1st of the month or until the New Year. Be like Nike. Just do it.
For example, a couple months ago, I realized how over-the-top I am with everything. I’ve been this way my whole life, but hosting our first Thanksgiving is when I truly recognized it. Instead of baking a couple basic pies, typical Heather would want to make 5-6 extravagant pies. Who needs cherry-pie-from-a-can when you can have fresh cherry-pear with homemade crust and a brown sugar glaze (I just made that pie up. Just right now. Invented it. It doesn’t sound very delicious, does it?) Along with the usual Thanksgiving sides, I’d want to make homemade sweet potato soufflé and four appetizers and homemade dinner rolls.
For whatever reason – most likely the stress of having both sets of parents over while The Husband and I tried not to mess up the most important meal of the year – I stepped away from myself this year and realized that I didn’t have to do that. I don’t ALWAYS have to go above and beyond. I used that same theory when it came to baking Christmas cookies and bringing dishes to various holiday events. Guess what guys! Turns out that NOT over-committing yourself leads to a pretty stress-free holiday. Who would have known?
I have also actively been working on not being the boss of every situation. Those who know me know how especially hard this is for me. I blame it on my childhood. My “independence” and tendency to oversee and schedule all play between me, my siblings and cousins was rarely discouraged. This continued throughout school, when I was often the person to take charge during group projects (I was also the one writing and directing Babysitter’s Club plays, but that’s a blog entry for a different day.)
My personality quickly molded into one of “If you want something done right, do it yourself.”
But being in control of and awesome at everything all the time is sort of stressful. So I have actively been telling myself NOT to step up and take charge all the time. It is hard. It’s very hard, actually, not to open my mouth and throw in my two cents. It’s hard not to get anxious when someone else DOES step up to the plate, and then doesn’t do things the way I would. But it’s not always my place to take over and I’m trying to remember that.
I’m happy and fortunate to have a whole, new year to work on it. You know, while I’m also working on eating less junk and getting to the gym more often.