I love Fox’s New Girl. I’ll admit that I didn’t jump onboard the bandwagon the way that I had hoped. I had high expectations for this show and I found the first couple of episodes forced. Damon Wayans Jr had filmed the pilots for both New Girl and Happy Endings, obviously not anticipating both of them succeeding. He ended up leaving New Girl after the pilot episode, and the transition was awkward.

But The Husband and I stuck with it and it quickly turned into one of our favorites. I’ve been a fan of Zooey Deschanel for so long that when I first heard of her, Manic Pixie Dream Girl wasn’t even a thing yet. Maybe that’s why I find her iPhone commercial incredibly annoying.

I’m sure you’ve seen the ad, but for the six of you who haven’t, it goes something like this. It’s raining outside and we see Zooey, in her ‘jammies, talking to her buddy Siri. “Siri, is that rain?” she asks her phone. “Yes, it appears to be raining,” Siri answers somewhat sarcastically, clearly fed up with Zooey’s sprite self. Um, yuh, Zo, you’re pretty much LITERALLY looking out the window soooo get to that answer yourself.

We then see Zooey doing things you’d expect “Zooey” to do when left to her own accord. You know, eccentric, incredibly cute things. Ordering in soup! Setting a reminder to clean her house (not til tomorrow!) and, of course, dancing to some old time rock and roll! Quirky! I find all of those things mildly irritating but they are not the cause of this rant.

Siri finds Zooey a restaurant that delivers tomato soup (because, you know, opening a can is hard for a girl!) “Good. Because I don’t want to put on real shoes,” Zooey says WHILE WEARING BRIGHT RED LIPSTICK AND ROCKING A SMOKEY EYE WITH FALSE EYELASHES.

This picture doesn’t even do her lipstick justice.

Again – WHILE WEARING BRIGHT RED LIPSTICK AND ROCKING A SMOKEY EYE WITH FALSE EYELASHES.

Zooey, I see that you’ve just been cast in the Broadway production of Coal Miner’s Daughter. I hope that means you will stop doing parodies of yourself. That whole schtick is starting to grate on the nerves of even your biggest fans.

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