Yesterday, the worst thing that can possibly happen to a person (you know, besides disease and poverty and stuff), happened to The Husband. His iPhone DIED! He was trying to do an update (Side Note: We have a fun little thing going on with updating our phones, in that he always yells at me to update apps and software and then I don’t and then he checks back and now I have 17 apps that need updating and he yells at me and I say I’ll do it later but then I don’t and then he checks back in a few days and I have 24 app updates and a software update to do and then Jay just does it for me. I don’t believe in updates.) … and his phone froze while plugged into iTunes.

We did the usual troubleshooting – unplug it and blow into it Super Nintendo style, ‘cause that usually fixes all technology glitches. Not this time! Shut it off. Turn it on – still frozen on the “Hey! Plug me into iTunes!” screen. So then, naturally, we panicked and swiftly made our way to the nearest Verizon.

Our spikey-haired, Spiderman-forearm-tattooed associate, Michelle, delivered the horrible news – nothing could be done. Luckily, The Husband is obsessed with always having the newest phone, and his was still under warranty. Verizon would mail him a new one in 3-5 business days. THREE TO FIVE BUSINESS DAYS, PEOPLE! What if I needed to text him a picture of fruit walking through the mall? What if I needed to spend all day sending him enticing messages to whet his appetite (pervert) for ice cream that night?

Luckily, I saw fruit walking through the mall last month soooo

WHATABOUTME?! Oh, and also, if he got in an accident or whatnot. (Although, thankfully, he has never needed to make a call due to being in an accident, he DID run out of gas, on the Northway, just passed the Twin Bridges, at RUSH HOUR a few years ago. My fellow 518ers will understand how we were not able to make eye contact or speak for a few hours after suffering through that ordeal.)

You know that quote from Love Story, “Being in love means never having to say you’re sorry?” Well, being part of Generation Y means never having the patience to wait for anything. Three to five days my butt. We were getting this done ASAP! Unfortunately, this whole thing went down Sunday afternoon. After being delivered the stunning blow that Jason would be out of a phone for practically the rest of his LIFE, we had to put on a brave face to meet his parents for Mother’s Day dinner…

Which was right around the corner from the Apple Store! Yes, the Apple Store! Those guys will be able to fix it! So we drove over at 6:30, to find out that apparently they have lives and close at 6:00 on Sundays. Talk about things going from bad to worse!

On his break this afternoon, Jason went to the Apple Store and spent 45 minutes at the Genius Bar (Aw, how arrogant of you, Apple. How precious), where they lived up to their names and somehow restored his phone. I’m confident they used some sort of voodoo trickery, although I cannot confirm this as I wasn’t there. But probably. They told Jason to go home, plug his phone back in and retrieve all of his contacts, songs, etc from The Cloud (Another thing I don’t believe in aka take the time to do) Luckily, his phone started working just in time for me to call him and tell him about my first trip back to the gym after 4 months off (Side note – I have a pretty cool giveaway post for tomorrow, care of Ruffles With Love Etsy shop. My legs are aching and I was a sweaty mess, but at least I had a cute shirt!)

I shall pretend that this is the Apple employee who helped Jason. This man is PUMPED!

Oh, but more bad news, guys. We did suffer a few casualties, including the PAID for version Angry Birds Space. Oh, technology. Why must you play with our tender, tender hearts?