The late 90s and early New Millenium ushered in a new era of music –   pretty teenage girls and boys with mediocre voices and big names behind them, penning their tunes.  Several of these stars came and went, fading out of  tween’s heart faster than the touch-up-paint-used-to-cover-up-the-scotch-tape-marks-on-the-wall could dry (My dad yelled at me not to tape J-14 posters on the wall. Pleaded. Begged. And, eventually, surrendered. I didn’t waste my allowance on the magazine just to keep Justin‘s dreamy face hidden behind glossy covers.  Sorry Dad.).

A few of them managed to keep a career going into adulthood (I still love you, Justin. But my boyfriend tells me it is now inappropriate to put pictures of you on my wall. I hope you understand.)  Miraculously, one of these “musicians” was Jessica Simpson.  She was able to get boyband dreamboat Nick Lachey to marry her. And, somehow, convinced MTV that their life was so interesting, it should be filmed.  But then she allegedly cheated on said dreamboat, the show was cancelled and, while he rebounded nicely with Vanessa Minello and has (seemingly) happily faded into the sunset, Jessica held on tight to her career.  Because her voice is not as great as manager and creepy father Joe would like to believe it is, she’s been grasping at straws, desperate to hang onto a career that she was never really suited for.

When pop stopped working for Jess, her “people” steered her towards country.  Turns out they didn’t want her either.  Because of that, I imagine the last pow wow between anyone still vested in J-Simps went something like this: What type of music does everyone love? Christmas songs! When are most people the happiest and least critical? Christmas time! Let’s have her make another holiday album (That’s right – another.  Check out her previous holiday spirit).

Simpson recently released her latest album, “Happy Christmas“.

Apparently, nobody is that invested in Jessica’s career, because they couldn’t be bothered to create an original song for her.  Take a listen to her newest holiday single, “My Only Wish”.  Does it remind you of any other Christmas songs? Mariah Carey thinks so.