Its official – Jessica Simpson had her baby. She gave birth to a healthy girl named Maxwell Drew Johnson (Maxwell is fiance Eric’s middle name and his grandmother’s maiden name). We can all release a collective sigh of relief. I’m not so sure why I’ve been so vested in this pregnancy, but I really have. When I was a teenager, I’d spend bus rides home from school listening to JSimps’ “Sweet Kisses” album on my Discman. Oh man. What a great album. (If you’re wondering if I stopped typing this in order to load Spotify and search the 1999 record so I could listen to it rightnow, you can stop wondering because yes, I did. “From the moment that I saw your face and felt the fire in your sweet embrace, that’s when I knew that I’m gonna loooooove yoooou foreeeever…”)
I absolutely admit to watching, and loving, Newlyweds on MTV (one of the only “reality shows” I’ve ever watched). After Nick and Jessica broke up and rumors of her cheating with Adam Levine started to swirl around my MySpace and on various AIM away notices, I understandably became upset. But I always kept tabs on her. I paid attention when she was John Mayer’s rebound girl after he broke up with Jennifer Love Hewitt. (I’m not sure if this was ever confirmed, but I’m pretty sure his song “Comfortable” is comparing his relationship with Love to his relationship with Jess. “I sleep with this new girl I’m still getting used to … She says that the Bible is all that she reads and prefers that I don’t use profanity … She thinks I can’t see the smile she’s faking. She poses for pictures that aren’t being taken.” Ouch. John Mayer is such a jerk. But that’s a whole different blog post.)
I watched whatever it was that she had going on with Tony Romo, with much disinterest. But I think I jumped back on her bandwagon when the infamous “Mommy Jeans” photo was taken. The paparazzi have been miserable to her – always picking on her appearance and saying she was heavy. And even when she was pregnant, she was still being called fat! (Ok, did homegirl put on some weight? Yes. Maybe more weight than other celebrity mamas that we have seen? Definitely. But for the last fifteen years, her appearance has been scrutinized. She was pregnant and now had a reason to eat cheesecake and bags of chips, seemingly without disapproval from the public. I would have been all over that, too!)
Maybe we feel like she should be giving birth to a toddler because we’ve witnessed her entire pregnancy. I mean, Beyonce announces she’s pregnant and then boom! She has a stomach. Boom! She has a baby. Boom! She’s skinny again! (I’m still calling surrogate on that one.) Jessica (seemingly) had a pregnancy that many non-famous moms could relate to.
I think that throughout all of the late-night show monologues and 140 characters-a-tweet bashing her on Twitter, she handled herself
gracefully with humor and lightheartedness. (She told Jimmy Kimmel “I feel like I have a bowling ball sitting on my hoohah. Apparently I have a lot of amniotic fluid, so whenever my water breaks, it will be like a fire hydrant!”)
So congrats to Jessica and fiancé Eric Johnson. I look forward to stalking your wedding pictures.